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Invite him to participate. You don’t have to do everything yourself to prove you are a good mother.
- Let him discover his own ways to diaper, feed and bathe the baby. (Remind him that this is all new to you, too.)
- Give positive, specific advice when asked. Don’t criticize.
When you give advice, don’t talk about him -- talk about the baby. Instead of saying, “You’re too rough with her”, say something like. “She’s too young for so much bouncing”.
- Share what you have learned about your baby’s likes and dislikes and be interested in what your partner learns and shares with you.
- Don’t overwhelm him with baby-care information and advice. (Think about how you feel when someone does that to you.)
- Encourage him to take the baby to the clinic or pediatrician and let him establish his own relationship with the doctor or nurse.
- Infants and new mothers are so needy and so involved with each other that the needs of new fathers are hard to consider, but new dads need encouragement and support, too.
- Fathers and mothers interact with babies in different ways. Don’t expect your baby’s father to do everything exactly the way you do, as long as your baby is safe and well cared for.
- Remember that fathers are like mothers in that the more experience they have with their babies, the more they learn about them and build an attachment to them.